Things that are even more awesome on rollerskates #6

The moonwalk, hat-tipping and crotch-grabbing.

Crime scene photos #2

Location: Aisle 3, Woolworths.
Time: 11:15pm
Cause of death: Pushed off high ledge.
Witnesses report hearing the sound of a crash around 11:15pm coming from the vicinity of the tea and coffee locale. By the time officers attended the scene, it was apparent that  the crime scene had been tampered with, as the victim had been nicely swept into a little pile.
Investigations at this point are ongoing – the initial suspicion of suicide still stands, although it should be noted that there is much distrust of Nescafé Blend 43 in the general community.

Ways to tell that you’re in Melbourne now #1

Ideas unsuccessfully pitched to the Franklin Mint #1

Yours, for only $150.
Classify under: shudder, ugly, how to be a corporate whore, bad product branding, oh god no.

Events I won’t be attending #2

Attend a life-changing event for between $90 to $290? No thanks, I’d rather buy his books, so I’ve got something I can use as a doorstop.

Places where I wish I lived #3

It’s a real street. Civilian Victims of War St. I don’t actually wish I lived there. I couldn’t handle the constant reminder of innocent lives lost.

Tasks I keep putting off #4

Taking out the recyclables.

My recycle bin resembles a stinky Play School Useful Box.

Things that should be pleasing, but are instead irritating #2

Spring cleaning. I like looking at tidy spots, but the guilt from not separating my recyclables will overwhelm me.

Remedial lessons that should be given #2

Intensive English for the Apostrophically Challenged: Yes folks, punctuation IS important.

Things that are even more awesome on rollerskates #5

Monkeys